Back from a long vacation

There are times when you want to write and at the same time take some rest, you know, sit with a book and relax in the comfort of a cozy winter bed and coffee, when something inspires you to put down the book and write a few lines, which grows and grows, then by night there’s a few pages of that ‘stuff,’ making you wonder if holidays and rest days ever exist in the life of writer. That’s what happened in the past few days, the few days I wanted to ‘take of’ writing and invest into some quality reading, but each day beckoned a small story or a poem from me. The experience of writing is always fun, all pages are different, all ideas and themes of any story, even a retelling is different, yet, I wasn’t satisfied with myself or the days or anything else in the past week. It was similar to sleeping when you are not tired and there’s nothing better to do than lying down, when memories and random thoughts drift through the mind killing the sleep or the idea of sleep till wee hours in the morning. I did do some productive writing: stories that last, and one of them is what follows here. It was written on my phone on a late dreary midnight and it’s in the first draft, so there might be some elements out of place, typos; forgive me for that.

Toothpaste

  • Sparkling White Toothpaste, this is Sanjay Singh, how may I help you today?
  • This is Charlie. I have been using your toothpaste for a long time now. I wanted something.
  • I am glad to be speaking to a loyal customer of our toothpaste, Charlie. How do you want me to help you today?
  • It’s… It’s a very silly problem, Sonjay.
  • No problem is silly, Charlie. I am sure I would have heard about it in the past; there might have been other customers who have faced similar issues in the past. I assure you that the problem is not silly.
  • You don’t understand, Sonjay. It’s… it’s…
  • Is it pushing a portion of the toothpaste back into the tube?
  • Hahaha, do people call you for that?
  • Of course. We get about fifty calls a day of this complaint. So, Charlie, if it’s not that, is it about getting the last smidgen out of the tube? See, see, all you have to do is this…
  • That’s not the problem either, Sonjay.
  • Then what is it, Charlie sir?
  • My teeth…
  • Are they not getting sparkling white?
  • They are sparkling white, alright. But—
  • Now I understand your problem, Charlie. Will you please wait, while I get a dentist on-line to give you an expert advice on how to brush your teeth! Do not worry Charlie sir, we also get tons of calls like this every day.
  • The problem is not the toothpaste, Sonjay. It is my teeth.
  • What is the exact nature of the problem, Charlie?
  • There’s not enough toothpaste for one proper brushing.
  • Not even one, sir?
  • Not even.
  • Have you tried the top-of-the-line 300 gram Sparkling White Teeth Supertube that comes with 30% extra now, offer available as long as stocks last, there might be Sparkling White Teeth Supertubes without this offer as well.
  • I have tried that. Still I am not able to get a full brushing from the tube. I was wondering if you could release a bigger product, perhaps a Supermegatube?
  • I am sorry, Charlie. That is not a promise I can make to you by myself. I will definitely send this query to my manager, who will in-turn send it to the Products Management team and they will make the final call. I assure you this will be taken into the most serious consideration by Sparkling White Teeth Team.
  • Thank you, Sonjay.
  • If it’s not a problem, Charlie, Charlie sir, may I know why you are not able to get a full brushing with the whole toothpaste dabbed on the brush?
  • I am an elephant, Sonjay.
  • An elephant, sir?
  • Yes, an elephant.
  • How can you speak if you are an elephant, sir?
  • I am not actually an elephant, Sonjay. I am a person who thinks he’s an elephant.
  • So you don’t have tusks?
  • I do. And whenever I try to brush my teeth, the toothpaste falls off the paintbrush.
  • I see.
  • Yeah.
  • You are lucky to have called customer support for this, Charlie. I might just have the solution for your problem.
  • Yeah? What is it?
  • Stop thinking you are an elephant, sir.
  • But I am the customer, I am not?
  • You are indeed an elephant, Charlie.
  • Fix this, will you?
  • Of course sir. I will send an expert down to your address, and he will get it resolved in no time.
  • Thank you Sonjay.
  • I am glad to be of help, Charlie. Call back if you need support for any tube of toothpaste in Sparkling White Teeth range. You have a sparkling day sir.

(Dialtone)

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3 thoughts on “Back from a long vacation

  1. Great dialogue! Very funny, too. So this is what happens when you take a vacation from writing? There must be a deep meaning to this, though I’m not sure what it is. Go for it!
    Elouise

  2. Haha, maybe… At the end when Sanjay says he’ll send an expert to Charlie’s house, he meant a psychiatrist. I did hide a few jokes, so the second time will be a different experience for the reader 🙂

  3. I never guessed the expert might be a psychiatrist. I thought maybe Sonjay would send his worst enemy or someone in his least-liked category! Or maybe a zookeeper? Thanks for your response.

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